Back from Amsterdam, I mean *sigh*
My cold is over as well which means I have no excuses not to work out anymore.
I did a...
> Go on interwebs to buy a cheap laptop for uni
> Book a flight to Bali for next month instead
Pokemon is on Netflix.
I’m feeling better, so I thought I’d test how far my body has fallen off its best.
Did a little heavy bag workout this morning aaaaand was winded after about 10 minutes. I just lay there and gasped for breath for a bit. It was difficult to breath and I was barely moving the bag, which was mildly depressing.
Tried to do some sprints and that lasted a whole minute before I was hacking and coughing.
So, I’ve learned that I am still in that Weak as a Baby part of recovery.
So, I have this savings account that I’ve been holding onto for my big thing.
Like, a bookstore, or a trip around the world or I may have committed a horrible crime and need to go into hiding, ect.
There is a part of me that wants to just use it, buy up this beautiful 80 acres in the middle of nowhere Montana, with a farm and just live a life reading, writing, making things and farming.
So, I’m feeling kind of sort of better.
I mean, I have been up for 10 hours today now and only in the last 10 minutes do I feel like I’m dying and need to go to sleep.
Oh, and I coughed earlier and I think a piece of lung came out.
Today was decently productive though, so I’ve got that going for me.
Sorry my blog has been a lot of me dying.
Also, sorry that before that it was me with lots of emotions.
Oh, and sorry I really haven’t been talking about anything fit concerned.
Really, I’m sorry about my blog.
But I sure do feel like it.
I’ve been sick for over a week now, and the weekend was pretty much spent awake for about 4-6 hours then sleeping the rest of the time. I’m not sure I can even call those hours awake since I really got nothing done past eating a little and showering.
Yesterday I was awake for the longest I’ve been in the last week and it was horrid.
By the end of the day, I was cranky, tired and my heart seems to be acting up again.
Someone just shoot me already.
So, for the last few days my sleeping habits have been taking up, at most, 2/3rds of my day.
It’s been really helpful, really. I have been feeling better every day.
Though better is a relative term, since I kind of started at almost dying and right now the colors of my sputum are Christmas colored, so, again, relative.
Before you ask, I did see a doctor. I did it this morning.
I have the flu, and possibly something else, given the hacking cough.
Was given drugs, the drugs are…helpful. I’m still hacking, just when I do it now, the gunk is loose in my chest instead of feeling like it’s glued in.
Yay, weekend. I’m going to just sleep until I get better and wake up every once and a while to eat something.
Ugh, eating is actually a chore now.
And I also regret, now, getting angry the other day and going out to hit things, because I really didn’t do myself any favors doing that.
Bright side, I’m a lot more objective today. Got a lot done while feeling like death.
OK, back to sleep with me.
Well, I just woke up.
Head feels a little funny, heart is doing weird things and I’m still coughing a little bit.
Had this funky dream about camping, I fought a bear and won.
I don’t know if any of you ever heard of the fairy tale of Bearskin, but a part of my dream came from that. In the story, a soldier is offered unlimited wealth if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair or nails, and wear a coat and cloak as his only clothes for seven years.
In my dream, I kind of became that man, but instead of trying to coexist in civilization, I went deeper into the forest and lived in the wild.
I just remember being told I could go back after I had served my time, but I had enjoyed my time in nature too much, and so I stayed.
…now I want to go camping.
Too angry to think. Scarfed down a protein bar and now going to go to the gym and hit the heavy bag for a while.
Drugged up to the gills, haven’t coughed in a half hour. Should be fine for another hour.
The will to sit here, in the kitchen, staring off into space as my stomach tells me to give it anything.
Ugh. I may be feeling better, but my motivations are non existent…
On their behalf, they did do it yesterday, and it’s over a book on evolution vs creationism, but I’m just seeing it now.
On the bright side, I feel a lot better today! I had a terrible night of sleep, kept waking up to fits of hacking, coughing and immense chest pains, but yeah, I feel a lot better now.
Let’s hope this trend continues.
To make sure of this, I’m not going outside today.
Thank you all for the well wishes! They made me smile this morning!